The Book Collector by Alice Thompson

Author:Alice Thompson [Thompson, Alice]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784630515
Publisher: Salt Publishing Limited
Published: 2015-11-04T16:00:00+00:00

A few days later, Violet was in the drawing room when she heard persistent crying coming from the nursery. Thinking Clara must be outside, she went upstairs but to her surprise, Clara was already in the nursery, standing by the cot. Her arms were outstretched as if about to pick up Felix, who had his arms lifted up towards her. But Clara, with an odd smile on her face, then slowly let her arms fall to her side. Felix’s crying intensified. He didn’t understand what was happening.

‘Clara, what on earth are you doing? You’re upsetting him. He thinks you are going to pick him up!’

Clara turned around, surprised, not having seen Violet come in.

‘It’s just a game.’

‘Well, it’s a cruel game. Please don’t play it any more.’

Clara immediately reached down into the cot and Felix tottered into her arms, ecstatic. That behaviour, Violet thought, will make him more dependent on her. If he thinks he may lose her, he will crave her comfort all the more. Is that why she was doing it? Or was it, as she said, just a silly game? She thought of Archie, his absences, and how dependent on him she had grown. Do people learn to manipulate the emotions of others instinctively, she wondered?

‘Can I have him, Clara?’ she asked.

But Felix started to cry again when Clara tried to give him over to Violet. He clung to Clara fiercely as if frightened to let go.

‘Keep him, Clara.’

Was there that odd smile again, about Clara’s lips, or had she just imagined it? Perhaps it was just delight that Felix loved her so much. But that game Clara had been playing with Felix – she didn’t like it.

That evening she mentioned what had happened to Archie, expecting him to understand her concern. But instead he looked cross.

‘Clara is doing a very good job. In fact you would be lost without her.’

‘I know. I’m grateful. But I thought it a strange game. Even cruel.’

‘I don’t think you are in the right position to judge.’

She took a sharp intake of breath.

‘I was ill. That’s unfair.’

He was so good at echoing her own critical thoughts, confirming what she already thought about herself.

‘Yes, I am sorry,’ he said, with a smile, and came over and put his arms around her. ‘Don’t worry. Clara would not have meant to be cruel. She would just have been playing with him. She’s been a Godsend to us. Please don’t do anything to lose her. Look how Felix loves her.’

And she could see Felix how loved Clara. He would crawl over to her, and Clara would take him in her arms and lift him up and swing him round as he giggled.

She didn’t really want to think any more about what she had seen – she wanted to consider Clara as pure as she looked, like an angel from heaven. She wanted to block out any vision of Clara other than the one she needed her to be. Her own version of herself had become unstable and various.

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